I apologize in advance

Posted on April 28, 2013 | 4 Comments

This post is going to get bad.

There is nothing worse than reading someone’s “woe is me” BS, complaining that the world is out the get them. Confirmation bias. No one lives their lives without anything mildly coincidental and bad happening to them, so get over it.

That being said, after years of struggling with the concept of long-distance running (yet still being a pretty good athlete throughout school), I finally found something that works. No shame, it’s Couch to 5k. The app that I downloaded tells me I’ve done a good job when I’m running…and damn, I pretend not to care but THANKS, APP WOMAN. I appreciate the support.

So I went out last week, ready to start this program. I ran all the way around the neighbourhood, discovering streets I didn’t know existed.

Look at me! I’m awesome! I’m running like someone who is 21 and thin and strong should be able to! My lungs aren’t burning and I don’t feel like my head is going to implode!

And then I fell.

…pretty badly

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Featuring another mark on my knee from that time I wiped out on the Civic Centre stairs…last month.

And on top of that, my body was completely confused and decided to give me low blood sugar-like symptoms, so I had to sit on the sidewalk and call someone to come get me.

Welp.

The good news is that it didn’t stop me. I sewed up my pants (yes, that bad) and went back out a few days later.

Go me.

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Late resolutions

Posted on April 13, 2013 | 3 Comments

I have a big mouth.

I can’t help myself.

I say stupid things that are risky. I enjoy ranting and sometimes people enjoy hearing me. (But really, most of them probably want to punch me in the face. I would, too)

My new resolution: Shut up. Just shut up.

You know how every time you go out drinking you spend the next day re-living all the stupid shit you said as it slowly creeps back into your memory? Oh my god how are people still friends with me?

This is a static state for me now [which may or may not have to do with how often I go out drinking. Shh.]

We need a support group, some sort of Big Mouths Anonymous where we chat about how addicted we are to the attention that delivering a mildly-amusing rant brings. But no, we can’t stop. We keep going. We want to be heard, dammit! I assume we’d all hate each other, because who likes people with big mouths?

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I should print this out.

Heres to a new, quiet, spring. And no, I will not complain about the weather or the people who won’t shut the fuck up about the fact that it’s snowing in April. Yes, we know, it happens every year.

Oops.

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The Highs and Lows of the Gym

Posted on March 11, 2013 | 8 Comments

With Old Navy’s recent sale on spandex capris, I thought I’d finally hit the gym after buying my pass in January. I know. Shut up.

The gym at my school is an odd one, because it’s tiny and it’s a solid half an half of students and old, rich people who live in the surrounding old, rich community.

There are even a section of treadmills labelled with imperial measurements.
(For those of you who don’t know, Canada switched to metric in the 70s, so those who went to elementary school a long time ago still usually use imperial. Including my parents. Yes, mom, there are 100cm in a metre. I wrote it down for you. It’s on the fridge.)

I’ve made some slight observations.

Good: Old people don’t check you out while you work out.
Bad: I think.

Good: I’ve realized that the elliptical is a magical machine that doesn’t make my knees want to crumble into dust when I use it.
Bad: Have you ever tried looking coordinated on an elliptical?

Good: I climbed the lovingly called “stairs of death” back up to campus without losing my breath after the gym.
Bad: The stairs of death exist.

Good: The new spandex capris and a cute t-shirt aren’t too shabby.
Bad: They are now covered in sweat forever.

So there you are. My adventures at this weird thing that humans go to as a supplement for our lazy-ass lives of leisure so we don’t die of cardiac arrest at 28 while reaching for that last slice of cheesecake.

Necessary disclaimer: Not me.

Necessary disclaimer: Not me.

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Trials of Pub Crawl

Posted on March 3, 2013 | 3 Comments

I never really had a real “crazy first year college experience” because…well..let’s not get into that.

Or we can. We totally can. I previously went to a place for school that was like Community but without the laughter, friends, events, sports teams, and will to live.

ANYWAY

So now, at the tender age of almost-21 (oh dear god, really?), I’m trying to do just that. Have a normal university experience.

My awesome school now puts on a bunch of awesome events. This past Thursday was pubcrawl.

I went out, drank on the subway with my friend like two classy 20 year olds, almost got picked up by an accountant, and most likely danced worse than Elaine Benes.

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He bought me one of these, because I am a classy but slightly outdated lady.

Things are getting better.

Yeah, no one likes “hey my life is fucking awesome now, cool” posts. I’ll get back to some depressing ones later, don’t you worry.

I’m the wittiest when my life is shitty.

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Posted in Events, Personal, School

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TV Expectations

Posted on February 26, 2013 | 4 Comments

They’ve lied to us. High school was not as positive as Degrassi or as fun and good-natured as Sabrina the Teenage Witch. There was no usual “hang out” that wasn’t full of angry looking 12 grade boys trying to buy Chinese food at lunch and scaring away the local families (it happened. There were complaints. Our students were assholes.)

No. My high school was in the middle of no where, overcrowded, and run by people who thought it was more important to ensure students weren’t on their cell phones at lunch than worrying about actual learning.

No one gave a shit about the football team (this is Canada, after all, where we have yet to build a 60 million dollar football stadium for a high school) and what is school spirit? Our colours were grey, silver, and black. What a cheerful-looking crowd we would have been.

So, whatever, TV never depicts real life, unless you live in the American South, where I assume every single high school on TV is modelled after.

University matched up slightly better, taking into account the majority of students at my school commute. We have pub nights and things, woo!

Now I just hope Friends wasn’t a lie. Or GIRLS, just…you know…without the awkward nakedness.

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or the awfully unflattering outfit choices by Dunham

Well, actually when bus passes in your city cost a student $106 a month and rent is at least $700 with a few roommates…it looks like my parents are going to be roommates for a while.

Hopefully no awkward nakedness.

And maybe, if I work really hard and score an actual full-time job after I graduate that’s not the retail hell my peers are stuck in, I’ll be able to almost afford a shitty apartment with a bunch of roommates. We’ll see. 

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Posted in Personal, Ramblings, Thoughts

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I’m Alive.

Posted on February 19, 2013 | 4 Comments

Yes, I know. I mean, I’ve been busy. I know I haven’t returned your calls or emails in the form of comments or messages. I meant to–really. I didn’t forget about you.

What have I been doing?

I’ve been busy working at my school, fixing computers and things. I know, it’s like a real job, still a student job but more legitimate than running the swan ride and falling into the lake this summer.

I’ve been studying. You can’t take a life-long nerd out of school for a year and not expect her to kick ass when she gets back. I’ll just brag about my A, A and A+ on my three half-year classes this December. Yep. I’ll brag. Deal with it.

I’ve been Model UN-ing. Debating. Pretending I know things about economics and looking snazzy in my suit from Sears.

I’ve been going on mini-trips to Montreal. Two. I can now order my food en francais.

I’ve spent as much time as possible with two beautiful people that were my best friends first semester. They were here on exchange, which is the worst but best situation at the same time. We wasted no time, taking in hockey games, the best brunch places, and some silly nights at Philthy McNasty’s. I miss them tons.

I rode a full-sized horse for the full time. I figured I deserved it after spending the summer getting ponies ready for kids to ride.

I’ve been cheating on you. I’ve been supporting another WordPress blog, but as an eAmbassador for my school. I told you, you can’t take the nerd out of the girl (no, shut up you perverts).

I’ve said goodbye to my beautiful dog who passed away last month. It’s odd, I was devastated but I really felt like it was his time and I’ve made peace. He gave us years of happiness and sometimes a little frustration, and he was there for me during my year of nothingness when I started this blog. Thanks, little guy, I’ll always miss you.

Oh, and I also discovered Reddit. So, that kind of took over my brain for a while. Excuses, excuses, I know.

So, there it is. You are caught up. I hope this will spur me on to post more, since I love just kind of throwing my ideas out there and getting whatever feed back, good or bad. (Hopefully good, though. You know how it is on this internet thing here.)

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Irrelevant photo for your entertainment.

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Grown-ups drink wine, right?

Posted on October 24, 2012 | 9 Comments

I have forced myself to be a wine person over the past year.

My parents are not wine people. My turned-out-to-be-batshit-insane step-aunt was the only wine person in our family, until, well she left the family via batshit-insane methods.

For some reason,  I associated wine with people who are grown up and successful. How am I going to hang out with my fancy educated friends and go to fancy educated dinner parties if I don’t like wine? What will I bring? Rum? It is delicious.

After stopping at the little kiosk at the front end of Loblaws a few times, one of the few non-LCBO ways to buy liquor in this over-regulated province, I finally decided I was a red wine person. Yes. White wine is gross. It stains less, but it’s gross.

It’s been a long journey of cringe-worthy beverages, but I think I’ve finally developed an actual taste for it. Yes! A small, useless success in a world of unfairness.

To be fair, I’m still at the point where my measure of taste is “does it make me gag or not?” but I’m getting there.

Simply a little window into the neurosis that invades my life.

Cheers.

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